College football is flat whacky, which is why I like it so much. You just never know what's going to happen. Let's take our two local teams. One loses on the road to a top 15 team, then beats a team in the Big Ten, at home. Team A is 1 and 1 and most everyone thinks they'll struggle this year. Team B is 2 and 0, having beat a division 2 team by a lot and then coming back, on the road, against a team in the Mountain West, and many are predicting big things for Team B. But truthfully, anyone predicting anything about college football is a loon, because by the end of the season, who knows where Teams A and B will be? The only thing, the ONLY thing I or anyone can say for certain about this college football season is that Washington State will suck. Zing!
Onward
So the Beavers have a different quarterback than they had last year, only because they got sick of listening to everyone try to say Moevao. Is it Moe-Vow? Or May-Vo? Anyway, they brought in the phonically friendly Sean Canfield, who is playing pretty well for the Beavs, after driving the team 87 yards at the end of the game, putting the team in position for a game winning 33 yard field goal, and squeaking out a win against UNLV, 23-2. Good ol' Shrimpy is picking up where he left off, carrying the ball 26 times for 166 yards. Anyone still think that the Little Dude is going to get hit one game and pop like a balloon full of confetti? He's 4 foot six and weighs 143 pounds for crying out loud! How can a guy like that continue to take punishment? I'm telling you, this is a story line to keep your eyes on.
The Pac 10 did pretty well this week against non-conference opponents. Only two teams lost, one of which was Stanford, which led for much of the game but gave up the game-losing touchdown with two seconds left in the game, falling to Wake Forest 24-17. Looks like Stanford won't be a push-over this year, which means that their head coach is probably two seasons away from leaving for a better program. So enjoy the run Cardinal fans.
The other team to lose to a non-conference opponent, and I hope you're sitting down because this is a shocker, was Washington State. I know! Me, too. And they lost to powerhouse, um, Hawai'i. But the final score wasn't so bad: 38-20. Of course it was 35-6 at halftime. The Cougs really stuck it to 'em in the second half. Did you know that Hawai'i had 626 total yards in offense? 453 yards passing. And WSU had seven turnovers. And last week, Hawai'i almost lost to Central Arkansas. AND the Cougs were supposed to play Ohio State this game instead of Hawai'i, but OSU decided they didn't want to, so gave WSU $450,000 NOT to play. That's kind of amazing. What does all that mean? WSU sucks. Zing!
Guess who just ended the nation's longest losing streak? Washington! They beat Idaho 42-23. And that's great, but the Husky defense gave up 349 yards passing to Idaho, which is a little bit worrisome. Not for me. But you know, for Husky fans. If there are any.
Oh the Ducks. Here's what I'll say about them. They might not be that good this year. Although the defense is playing well(ish). Oregon beat Purdue 38-36, barely holding on at the end. But the defense had a few key scores and generally looked okayish. I guess you can tell with all the "ishes" I'm throwing around that they didn't look that impressive overall. And you'd be right. Ish.
So much for USC having a down year. They shocked a lot of experts when they named a true freshman at QB and then they go into Ohio State and they win a hard fought game, 18-15. Looks like it'll be another year of USC domination, except for that one bad loss they'll have in conference that'll keep them out of the National Championship and let them win their bajillionith Rose Bowl. Yawn.
Speaking of yawn, I got nothing on Cal or Arizona, who collectively played garbage teams and won. And ASU had a bye.
Shout Outs
Those of you that know me, or at least know of my football likes/dislikes, know I'm no fan of Notre Dame. They've always exuded a sense of entitlement and the fact that they remain independent and NBC's Notre Dame Football Saturday Extravaganza featuring Bob Costas and Jesus and getting into a BCS bowl with only nine wins...well, let's just say that rubs me the wrong way. A lot. So this weekend's game against Michigan, while being the biggest game in the history of that moment of that day, wasn't a game I really wanted to see. Notre Dame beats a struggling Michigan and they probably vault into the top ten and sew up a National Championship game berth. Lose, and, well, it's Notre Dame. They'll whine about something. In this case, they lost to Michigan in a really good game, 38-34, and then complained about the Big Ten officials. And the irony (is that the right word? Damn you Alanis Morrisette for clouding the issue) is that ND is WILLFULLY independent. Which means they will ALWAYS have other conference referees. You want a level-playing field when it comes to refs? Join a damn conference. Until then, stop complaining.
PSU beat Southern Oregon on Saturday 34-10. My first question after hearing about that was: Southern Oregon has a football team? Is that like a club team or something? But apparently they have a real live team with matching helmets and everything. Not a very good team, but a team nevertheless. They even have a nickname: The Raiders. Based I'm sure on the rich tradition of raiding and marauding that Ashland, Oregon is known for.
Augustana beat the Greenville Panthers 42-20, so apparently there's no rule against running up the score in the CCIW. Nice league. Way to make kids not want to play sports anymore. Did you know that Greenville, which coincidentally is located in Greenville, Illinois, is going to play in the Metrodome on October 30th? You think they'll only turn on half the lights in the stadium? Open one concession stand? How many people would you think a football game between Greenville and Northwestern (Minn.) will bring in? 3,000? 3,001? Either someone knows somebody or the Metrodome had a monster truck rally pull out at the last minute.
Last week I failed to hand out The Ass Hander Award, but just so we're clear, it would have gone to WSU. However, since I forgot, it's not official. This week's Ass Hander? WSU. 35-6 at halftime? Welcome to beatdown-ville, population, you.
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