College football is flat whacky, which is why I like it so much. You just never know what's going to happen. Let's take our two local teams. One loses on the road to a top 15 team, then beats a team in the Big Ten, at home. Team A is 1 and 1 and most everyone thinks they'll struggle this year. Team B is 2 and 0, having beat a division 2 team by a lot and then coming back, on the road, against a team in the Mountain West, and many are predicting big things for Team B. But truthfully, anyone predicting anything about college football is a loon, because by the end of the season, who knows where Teams A and B will be? The only thing, the ONLY thing I or anyone can say for certain about this college football season is that Washington State will suck. Zing!
Onward
So the Beavers have a different quarterback than they had last year, only because they got sick of listening to everyone try to say Moevao. Is it Moe-Vow? Or May-Vo? Anyway, they brought in the phonically friendly Sean Canfield, who is playing pretty well for the Beavs, after driving the team 87 yards at the end of the game, putting the team in position for a game winning 33 yard field goal, and squeaking out a win against UNLV, 23-2. Good ol' Shrimpy is picking up where he left off, carrying the ball 26 times for 166 yards. Anyone still think that the Little Dude is going to get hit one game and pop like a balloon full of confetti? He's 4 foot six and weighs 143 pounds for crying out loud! How can a guy like that continue to take punishment? I'm telling you, this is a story line to keep your eyes on.
The Pac 10 did pretty well this week against non-conference opponents. Only two teams lost, one of which was Stanford, which led for much of the game but gave up the game-losing touchdown with two seconds left in the game, falling to Wake Forest 24-17. Looks like Stanford won't be a push-over this year, which means that their head coach is probably two seasons away from leaving for a better program. So enjoy the run Cardinal fans.
The other team to lose to a non-conference opponent, and I hope you're sitting down because this is a shocker, was Washington State. I know! Me, too. And they lost to powerhouse, um, Hawai'i. But the final score wasn't so bad: 38-20. Of course it was 35-6 at halftime. The Cougs really stuck it to 'em in the second half. Did you know that Hawai'i had 626 total yards in offense? 453 yards passing. And WSU had seven turnovers. And last week, Hawai'i almost lost to Central Arkansas. AND the Cougs were supposed to play Ohio State this game instead of Hawai'i, but OSU decided they didn't want to, so gave WSU $450,000 NOT to play. That's kind of amazing. What does all that mean? WSU sucks. Zing!
Guess who just ended the nation's longest losing streak? Washington! They beat Idaho 42-23. And that's great, but the Husky defense gave up 349 yards passing to Idaho, which is a little bit worrisome. Not for me. But you know, for Husky fans. If there are any.
Oh the Ducks. Here's what I'll say about them. They might not be that good this year. Although the defense is playing well(ish). Oregon beat Purdue 38-36, barely holding on at the end. But the defense had a few key scores and generally looked okayish. I guess you can tell with all the "ishes" I'm throwing around that they didn't look that impressive overall. And you'd be right. Ish.
So much for USC having a down year. They shocked a lot of experts when they named a true freshman at QB and then they go into Ohio State and they win a hard fought game, 18-15. Looks like it'll be another year of USC domination, except for that one bad loss they'll have in conference that'll keep them out of the National Championship and let them win their bajillionith Rose Bowl. Yawn.
Speaking of yawn, I got nothing on Cal or Arizona, who collectively played garbage teams and won. And ASU had a bye.
Shout Outs
Those of you that know me, or at least know of my football likes/dislikes, know I'm no fan of Notre Dame. They've always exuded a sense of entitlement and the fact that they remain independent and NBC's Notre Dame Football Saturday Extravaganza featuring Bob Costas and Jesus and getting into a BCS bowl with only nine wins...well, let's just say that rubs me the wrong way. A lot. So this weekend's game against Michigan, while being the biggest game in the history of that moment of that day, wasn't a game I really wanted to see. Notre Dame beats a struggling Michigan and they probably vault into the top ten and sew up a National Championship game berth. Lose, and, well, it's Notre Dame. They'll whine about something. In this case, they lost to Michigan in a really good game, 38-34, and then complained about the Big Ten officials. And the irony (is that the right word? Damn you Alanis Morrisette for clouding the issue) is that ND is WILLFULLY independent. Which means they will ALWAYS have other conference referees. You want a level-playing field when it comes to refs? Join a damn conference. Until then, stop complaining.
PSU beat Southern Oregon on Saturday 34-10. My first question after hearing about that was: Southern Oregon has a football team? Is that like a club team or something? But apparently they have a real live team with matching helmets and everything. Not a very good team, but a team nevertheless. They even have a nickname: The Raiders. Based I'm sure on the rich tradition of raiding and marauding that Ashland, Oregon is known for.
Augustana beat the Greenville Panthers 42-20, so apparently there's no rule against running up the score in the CCIW. Nice league. Way to make kids not want to play sports anymore. Did you know that Greenville, which coincidentally is located in Greenville, Illinois, is going to play in the Metrodome on October 30th? You think they'll only turn on half the lights in the stadium? Open one concession stand? How many people would you think a football game between Greenville and Northwestern (Minn.) will bring in? 3,000? 3,001? Either someone knows somebody or the Metrodome had a monster truck rally pull out at the last minute.
Last week I failed to hand out The Ass Hander Award, but just so we're clear, it would have gone to WSU. However, since I forgot, it's not official. This week's Ass Hander? WSU. 35-6 at halftime? Welcome to beatdown-ville, population, you.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Pac 10 Recap, Week 1 2009
So the other day I'm working the Tivo, looking for something to watch and I discover Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (tag line: Kicking buttski. Making you laughski. The Academy is backski!..no, seriously). And as I watched half (okay, all) of it, my thought was...who the hell wanted to see Police Academy 7? Who green lights this? I mean, when Steve Guttenberg won't return your calls, just stop making the movie. No one wants to see a seventh movie in a series, especially a series that kind of sucked to begin with. Some things should just stop.
Why do I bring that up? Because I'm back, baby! Three years in a row; your Friendly Neighborhood Pac 10 Recapper is back. For some of you, I'm sure you just strained a shoulder leaping for the delete button. But for the others (more than half?) I hope that this comes as welcome news. If not, please accept my sincere apologies for subjecting you to another long year of snarky comments and barely hidden homerism. I promise to try to be at least as entertaining as the guy that can make machine gun noises with his mouth.
Now, if only something interesting had happened last week to kick off Week One...oh, wait....
Onward
Let's talk Smurfs. As a kid, I hated that show. Those little blue dwarfy things with their stupid hats and little pants drove me nuts. And how they dropped in the word "smurf" instead of regular words, like "Hey, Grumpy Smurf! Shut your smurf!" or "That Gargamel is a pain in my smurf!" or "Let's grab a semi-automatic smurf and shoot every smurfing one of these little smurfs!" Okay, I had issues. But regardless, seriously, who liked Smurfs? Well, apparently the good folks of Boise, Idaho LOVED Smurfs, because they love to talk about the SmurfTurf, the eye-searing blue turf of their football field. Well, last Thursday, the Oregon Ducks ran out onto the SmurfTurf...and got smurfed. Badly. Hoo boy, was it smurfing ugly. And it wasn't like the Boise State Broncos were fantastic. They turned the ball over three times...hell, they wanted to give the game away. But the Ducks were absolutely inept offensively in every way possible. To call what they did ugly is an insult to everyone rocking the unibrow and buckteeth. It was just...smurfy. Final score BSU 19, Ducks 8. Oh, and some guy for the Ducks hit a guy. Or something. It was hard to find any information on that alleged incident, even on the System of Tubes*.
It went better for the rest of the Pac 10. Ignoring the in-conference opener for Stanford v. WSU, the Pac 10 nearly went undefeated. The only team to lose was Washington, who hosted LSU and, picking up where they left off, played well but ultimately didn't get it done. The Washington Huskies haven't won a game since November of 2007! Back then, I was feathering my hair and sporting the checkerboard slip-on Vans. Anyway, Washington looked spunky or spirited or had gumption (should probably hold on to some of those cliches for later), but ultimately lost to LSU 31-23. But I think the Huskies are going to be better this year and that long long losing streak will come to an end.
On the other hand, the Cougars. Yikes. Still bad, in case you're curious. But possibly not as bad as they were last year. Which I guess is kind of like living next to a dumpster and getting used to the smell. It's still god-awful, it just doesn't make you feel like you're going to throw up all the time. Cougs might want to borrow that for their team slogan this year..."Less Pukey than 2008!" Anyway, they lost to Stanford 39-13. Last year they lost to Stanford 58-0. So, see? Not as pukey.
The Cal Golden Bears crushed Maryland 52-13. Jahvid Best looked like a definite Heisman candidate, but since he plays on the West Coast and doesn't play for USC, he has no chance. But Cal looks good this year and suddenly has the look of the Team that Might Knock Off USC.
The rest of the league played and beat really horrible football teams: San Jose State, Portland State, Central Michigan and Idaho State. Not much to be gleaned from playing a team that just wants a bunch of money to get beaten so they can improve their weight room. I know everyone does it (some of the games this past weekend were just embarrassing) but I just think that playing games against patsies (especially the Pac 10, which has a bad national reputation to begin with) doesn't do anything other than make the parents of the third string players happy. So no more talking about that.
Shout Outs
PSU got beat by OSU. Big surprise.
Notre Dame crushed Nevada 35-0 and has already gotten an invitation to the Fiesta Bowl. Let's be serious about Notre Dame for a moment, if we could. They have sucked for a long time now. The only reason people even talk about them is because they're "Notre Dame." I heard something about how Charlie Weis has the worst four year record of any coach in ND history. I may have made that up. Regardless, he hasn't been good. Now, they're in the Top 25, they beat their first opponent, and crazy old ex-ND coaches are on TV saying they'll go undefeated. There's much blowing out of the chest and strutting about in Fightin' Irish land now. And after they beat a bad Michigan team, ND fans will go from insufferable to...more insufferable. But let's have a few more games pass by before we start throwing them into the National Championship, please? Everyone? Okay? Thanks.
Augustana played Coe and lost 9-7. Bet that was a great game. Seven points? What are you, the Ducks? Coe plays in Cedar Rapids, Iowa and their mascot is the "kohawk." I looked up kohawk on the Googles and apparently it's not a real thing. Coe made up their mascot. Can they do that?
*Not to be disingenuous about the big fight: Blount got what he deserved. I think if you're going to go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, you need to face up to the consequences. Not playing football ever again is a huge blow, but a move the team had to take. I realized how out of hand the coverage had gotten when I was at the gym (I heard they had good milkshakes there (fyi, not true)) and CNBC was doing a segment called "Pop or Drop" and the financial dude was saying that Blount was a "Drop." They were talking about a football fight on CNBC! So yeah, Blount had to go.
Why do I bring that up? Because I'm back, baby! Three years in a row; your Friendly Neighborhood Pac 10 Recapper is back. For some of you, I'm sure you just strained a shoulder leaping for the delete button. But for the others (more than half?) I hope that this comes as welcome news. If not, please accept my sincere apologies for subjecting you to another long year of snarky comments and barely hidden homerism. I promise to try to be at least as entertaining as the guy that can make machine gun noises with his mouth.
Now, if only something interesting had happened last week to kick off Week One...oh, wait....
Onward
Let's talk Smurfs. As a kid, I hated that show. Those little blue dwarfy things with their stupid hats and little pants drove me nuts. And how they dropped in the word "smurf" instead of regular words, like "Hey, Grumpy Smurf! Shut your smurf!" or "That Gargamel is a pain in my smurf!" or "Let's grab a semi-automatic smurf and shoot every smurfing one of these little smurfs!" Okay, I had issues. But regardless, seriously, who liked Smurfs? Well, apparently the good folks of Boise, Idaho LOVED Smurfs, because they love to talk about the SmurfTurf, the eye-searing blue turf of their football field. Well, last Thursday, the Oregon Ducks ran out onto the SmurfTurf...and got smurfed. Badly. Hoo boy, was it smurfing ugly. And it wasn't like the Boise State Broncos were fantastic. They turned the ball over three times...hell, they wanted to give the game away. But the Ducks were absolutely inept offensively in every way possible. To call what they did ugly is an insult to everyone rocking the unibrow and buckteeth. It was just...smurfy. Final score BSU 19, Ducks 8. Oh, and some guy for the Ducks hit a guy. Or something. It was hard to find any information on that alleged incident, even on the System of Tubes*.
It went better for the rest of the Pac 10. Ignoring the in-conference opener for Stanford v. WSU, the Pac 10 nearly went undefeated. The only team to lose was Washington, who hosted LSU and, picking up where they left off, played well but ultimately didn't get it done. The Washington Huskies haven't won a game since November of 2007! Back then, I was feathering my hair and sporting the checkerboard slip-on Vans. Anyway, Washington looked spunky or spirited or had gumption (should probably hold on to some of those cliches for later), but ultimately lost to LSU 31-23. But I think the Huskies are going to be better this year and that long long losing streak will come to an end.
On the other hand, the Cougars. Yikes. Still bad, in case you're curious. But possibly not as bad as they were last year. Which I guess is kind of like living next to a dumpster and getting used to the smell. It's still god-awful, it just doesn't make you feel like you're going to throw up all the time. Cougs might want to borrow that for their team slogan this year..."Less Pukey than 2008!" Anyway, they lost to Stanford 39-13. Last year they lost to Stanford 58-0. So, see? Not as pukey.
The Cal Golden Bears crushed Maryland 52-13. Jahvid Best looked like a definite Heisman candidate, but since he plays on the West Coast and doesn't play for USC, he has no chance. But Cal looks good this year and suddenly has the look of the Team that Might Knock Off USC.
The rest of the league played and beat really horrible football teams: San Jose State, Portland State, Central Michigan and Idaho State. Not much to be gleaned from playing a team that just wants a bunch of money to get beaten so they can improve their weight room. I know everyone does it (some of the games this past weekend were just embarrassing) but I just think that playing games against patsies (especially the Pac 10, which has a bad national reputation to begin with) doesn't do anything other than make the parents of the third string players happy. So no more talking about that.
Shout Outs
PSU got beat by OSU. Big surprise.
Notre Dame crushed Nevada 35-0 and has already gotten an invitation to the Fiesta Bowl. Let's be serious about Notre Dame for a moment, if we could. They have sucked for a long time now. The only reason people even talk about them is because they're "Notre Dame." I heard something about how Charlie Weis has the worst four year record of any coach in ND history. I may have made that up. Regardless, he hasn't been good. Now, they're in the Top 25, they beat their first opponent, and crazy old ex-ND coaches are on TV saying they'll go undefeated. There's much blowing out of the chest and strutting about in Fightin' Irish land now. And after they beat a bad Michigan team, ND fans will go from insufferable to...more insufferable. But let's have a few more games pass by before we start throwing them into the National Championship, please? Everyone? Okay? Thanks.
Augustana played Coe and lost 9-7. Bet that was a great game. Seven points? What are you, the Ducks? Coe plays in Cedar Rapids, Iowa and their mascot is the "kohawk." I looked up kohawk on the Googles and apparently it's not a real thing. Coe made up their mascot. Can they do that?
*Not to be disingenuous about the big fight: Blount got what he deserved. I think if you're going to go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, you need to face up to the consequences. Not playing football ever again is a huge blow, but a move the team had to take. I realized how out of hand the coverage had gotten when I was at the gym (I heard they had good milkshakes there (fyi, not true)) and CNBC was doing a segment called "Pop or Drop" and the financial dude was saying that Blount was a "Drop." They were talking about a football fight on CNBC! So yeah, Blount had to go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)