Week 12, last year, update

So amazingly, in this day and age, I actually lost weeks 8 through 11. Usually I email these to co-workers, and then myself, but somehow failed to do that for those three weeks. So we jump ahead a bit to Week 12, as things begin to heat up in last year's Pac 12.


I really like the concept of branding. ESPN does it a lot. A random college football Saturday in October is "Road Test Saturday" because three ranked teams are playing away from home. Or "Gut Check Week" because a few teams that lost need to come back with a big win to stay alive in whatever crazy computer poll that determines the best football team. So you can imagine the ebullience after last weekend when the number 2, 4 and 5 BCS ranked teams all lost. By the time I got back from the game, in a foul mood anyway, I was assaulted by College Carnage! and Football Bloodbath! and Pigskin Evisceration! It was unsettling, to say the least. What seems to happen every single year is that there are four or five undefeated teams as the season winds down, and then a few lose, or most lose, and then the debate is over which one loss team is most deserving. And then, after the inevitable "Gridiron Gorefest!" it settles in that, once again, instead of chaos we just have two teams playing each other that deserve to. Now, if LSU loses, we've got problems. Unless you publish thesauruses. Those guys are definitely feeling convivial. Or, at the very least, exultant.

Onward


After last week's recap, I had a valued reader take umbrage with something I wrote about the Ducks v. USC game. Not because he's a Duck fan (far from it), but because he's apparently bitterly hateful of the 'SC program. What I had said last week was that, since USC is a ghost of a program, a loss to USC wouldn't be that bad for Oregon's chances of a robust and satisfying post season. So let me say this:  I was wrong. I was wrong in saying a loss wouldn't be bad (I still stand behind the general thesis). But one should never ever ever say that a loss would be anything other than bad. For example, the Ducks lost at home to USC, 38-35 and it TOTALLY sucked. I am not a fan of that feeling at all. So saying that a loss wouldn't be bad...that's a bad thing to say, and I take it back. However, when the Ducks beat OSU next weekend and get to host the Pac 12 Championship game, then I'll feel a little bit better. But only a little.

UCLA is exhibiting a bit of a fight (or gumption, or my personal favorite, pluck). Granted, the Bruins beat Colorado (I think they would have beaten Colorado if my mom was QB, and she throws a really bad ball) 45-6, but at one point this season, UCLA wasn't just left for dead, they were wrapped in a blanket and strapped to the top of the car to be dropped off at their relative's house, in the rain (what movie?). But now, improbably, they are on the precipice of winning the Pac 12 South. Win next week against USC and they are Pac 12 South champs! Woo! (Note, they will not beat USC.) (Note: I suck at making predictions, so they probably will beat USC.)

The Beavers beat spiraling Washington 38-21, avoiding a 10 loss season for the first time since 1995. It was a complete game for them, as handsome Sean Mannion threw for almost 400 yards and was in charge of the offense all game, and the team managed to rush for over 100 yards. A game like that makes even the most casual of college football games wonder why OSU couldn't be doing that all season long. Granted, not every team is currently as bad as Washington, but still...there are a few bad football teams in this conference, and I'm not alone in thinking the Beavers maybe should have beaten a few more of them.

Speaking of the state of Washington, they are in a bad state. So much promise early on for the Cougs, but it seems like a lifetime ago. Now, well now they're just the Cougars again, playing in miserable weather way up in the Washington Hinterlands, and basically losing to all comers. This week, that played out as the Cougars played neck and neck with Utah, only to lose in overtime, 30-27. Utah, playing for all they are worth to win the Pac 12 South (they need ASU and UCLA to both lose, and they need to beat Colorado), is on a bit of a roll. Cougars...not rolling, unless you count the downhill slide which is gaining momentum. The Apple Cup should be fun, in a sick, car crash kind of way.

As bad as it is in Washington, could be worse. Could be in Arizona. For things like old people, shorts and dark socks, mandles and convertibles, I'm leaning Arizona. For things like football teams, as horrible as the Washington teams are, ugh. Arizona's are way worse. This week, it was the falling like a rock Sun Devils versus the Wildcats (team slogan: "The Team of Inconsistent Fun!"). And in this case, the fun went to the Wildcats, who came from behind to shock the Sun Devils, 31-27. At one point, ASU was ahead 24-17, but then, well, they pooped their own bed. And as anyone that is either a) a parent or b) an alcoholic, you know that pooping the bed is MESSY. Improbably (Official Word of the Pac 12 South), ASU still also has a chance to win the division. They need UCLA to lose and they need to win and I believe they are in. So it breaks down like this:  UCLA wins, they are in. Utah wins, they need ASU to lose and I think, if UCLA wins, too, Utah still is in. If ASU wins, they need UCLA to lose. And if Brock finds out the Tiffany is secretly sleeping with Tony and that his son is actually not his son, but is Victor's, then all bets are off. Something like that. I should have done more research.

Stanford beat Cal in "The Game" (SO uncreative), 31-28. Surprisingly close, for a team that not that long ago was going to go to the National Championship and go head to head with some random SEC team.

Other Stuff


This is going to sound a bit like sour grapes, but that's okay. It's my recap. The morning after the horrible Duck loss, I was sitting with some friends in a hotel restaurant, lamenting the shouldacouldawouldas and I came across this piece of information in the Oregonian sports section, in an article written by one of the Beaver beat writers:  "It has been five years - Nov. 24, 2006, to be exact - since Oregon State fans had a day like Saturday. That's the last time the Beavers won a football game and a basketball game on the same day that the rival Oregon Ducks lost a football game." And that, my fine readers, is one of the saddest stats I have ever come across. Why do they know that? Why do they care about that? I'm sure that Beaver fans get unbelievably pissed about the whole "little brother" thing, but good god, right there in the paper, a stat about both big Beaver sports teams winning and the rival losing. How else are we supposed to think? There's an internet meme (I'm getting all fancy here, for an old guy...also, thanks Wikipedia!) that Beaver fans care more about the Ducks losing than they do about their team winning. I largely disregarded that, because no one does that, right? But after seeing that article, I'm not sure that the meme is that off base. You can't spend half your time being excited for a win and equally excited over a rival's loss and be taken seriously. We tell our kids all the time to pay attention to their own lives and stop being mad at what other people are getting, or doing. And there's no denying anymore that a significant number of Beaver fans live their lives that way. Your moms would be ashamed. Anyway, I'm off the Box of Pontification. All I really wanted to do is use the term "internet meme" in a recap, because it makes me feel young again.

Pac 12 Power Rankings (semi-controversial addition)

1. Oregon - I know. They lost to USC. But they have one loss in conference, they beat Stanford on the road and will probably go to the Rose Bowl, the Pac 12's bowl game
2. Stanford - Beat SC. Going to a BCS bowl, probably.
3. USC - a really great team, with one really big win. But lost to Stanford and ASU (!). Two losses in conference doesn't make you the best in conference.
4. UCLA - after all that, South champs, maybe
5. Utah - rising fast. Guess they belong after all
6. Washington - they HAVE to win the Apple Cup
7. ASU - I guess
8. Cal - bowl eligible has to count for something
9. OSU - I know they won...but it's only their third win all year
10. Washington State - promising season, down the tubes
11. Arizona - either really bad or just kind of bad
12. Colorado - always bad

Ass Handers


There was one obvious blowout last weekend, but honestly, who cares about Colorado? The way the Oregon game started, I thought the Ducks might get one. But honestly, only one team had their asses handed to them. What happens when you play a team you really really shouldn't to lose to, you're playing at home, you have a sizeable lead, and you have every reason in the world to win...and  you lose? You get your ass. Congrats ASU.

Last Year's Week 7 Recap

Happy birthday dads! No, wait, sorry. Just happy day, I guess. I'm hoping that all you dads got to sit on your fat asses and ignore the nippers...but I'm guessing, yeah, no. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day with a look back at week 7 of last year's Pac 12 season.


Week 7


The past week I was laid up with consumption or the croup (some Victorian Literary disease), so I was definitely not 100% when I hit Autzen Stadium for a 7:21 kickoff. Fortunately, the weather forecast called for mild temperatures and no rain. Unfortunately, the weather forecast was forecasted by weather forecasters, who, without a doubt, are collectively the most wrong people on the planet, ahead of the clinically insane, cult members (“everyone wearing white sneakers will be safe from the aliens!”) and toddlers (“then the ponies could live in my room and sometimes soap tastes like peanut butter”). Needless to say, it was very cold and rained for much of the game, forcing me to once again don a plastic bag to keep my light-weight jacket and jeans dry. And unless you’re homeless, you probably didn’t know that plastic bags do NOT keep one warm. So at this point, after sitting through the game, I’m pretty sure I have the plague. Which sucks, as Rite Aide is currently out of Tylenol Cold and Plague.

Onward


Gritty isn't a word often associated with the Ducks (I could go into all the words associated with the Ducks, but I'm guessing most of my readers have their own words, and not many of them are printable), but after Saturday's 41-27 home win against 18th ranked Arizona State, it was certainly the word that was in my head. Already going into the game without all-world running back LaMichael James, the Ducks lost their starting QB a few minutes into the second half, and the collective "ohhhh...nooooo" was almost louder than any cheering during the game. But the backup QB did what he had to do: make a few plays, run the offense and not screw up. The Ducks are a long way from the days of Brady Leaf trotting into the game and throwing the ball all over the field like he was allergic to leather, which is nice, because I've kind of grown fond of the Ducks winning football games (it'd be nice if they won games that were considered "big," but I'll complain about that after they get beat in a bowl game). Next week they go to Colorado, the closest thing the Pac 12 has to a bye, aside from a bye, so even without their starting QB and RB, I'm not buying any of the "trap game" talk (note, no one is calling this a trap game).

Speaking of injuries, OSU suffered a few of them, aside from the ultimate injury of losing at home to BYU, 38-28. Six defensive players (I know, I know, I'm contractually obligated to say "they have a defense?") went down during the game, including one guy with a busted leg. So needless to say, bad to worse comes in to play here. The Beavers, out of 120 division 1 teams, rank 107th in rushing, and 96th in turnover margin. I'm no football genius (I just write a weekly recap of football, which you would think would require football knowledge but in fact only requires the ability to type), but neither of those stats are very good ones, and basically explains their record, along with the fact that they kind of stink on offense and defense. The Beavers aren't officially out of the "bowl race" yet, but would need to win 5 of their next six, and they haven't played Washington, Stanford or Oregon yet. So...yeah, that's all I'll say about that.

Remember when Stanford wasn't a good football team? I sure do. Using the way back machine, I pulled up some old recaps. In 2007 (my god, I've been writing these things since 2007!), Stanford lost to OSU 23-6 and had negative 8 yards rushing FOR THE GAME. In 2008 they lost to the Sun Devils 41-17, TCU 31-14 and Cal 37-16. So it wasn't that long ago that they were pathetic. But they aren't pathetic anymore. (As a quick aside, their chances of going back to pathetic are pretty good...they lost their genius coach that turned the program around and their QB (who already is better than about half a dozen NFL quarterbacks) is in his last season. And let's not forget, it's Stanford, a school that is RIDICULOUSLY hard to get in to. All of those things, to me, spell a BIG drop off next year, so enjoy the ride, Cardinal fan...next stop, MediocreVille.) Anyway, the Card stomped WSU 44-10. Did you know that Stanford was only ahead 10-7 at half? Did you know that WSU tried to play dead at halftime so they'd call the game then?

USC cleaned Cal's clocks, cruising to a cushy conquest 30-9. Contrary to completed seasons, Cal continues to crash and combust and one can't counteract contemplating the coach's conclusive culmination (I think that's a bit cumbersome, actually). Anyway, could be consternating.

Utah just needs to stop playing in the Pac 12. Losers of three Pac 12 conference games, Utah went on the road to Pittsburgh and beat them soundly, 26-14.

Colorado, also wishing they were probably not in the Pac 12, lost, again, this time to Washington, 52-24.

UCLA and Arizona had byes. Thank goodness.

Other Stuff


Last week I mentioned that Arizona head coach Mike “Loopy” Stoops would almost certainly be fired by the end of the season. Well, I was wrong about that, as Loopy didn’t make it past last Monday. The Athletic Director for Arizona actually called the coach on a recruiting trip and made him come home, sending the school jet to pick him up, which I guess is the equivalent of a parent showing up at a party to drag an overly drunk kid home by their ear. It’s telling that the comments around why Loopy was fired mid-season were about how it’s time for the kids to “have fun again.” It’s easy to assume that the kids weren’t having fun, as their coach is, at best, a cranky half-blind cougar and at worst is a legitimate maniac, but for the administration at U of Arizona to say it speaks volumes about how thin the act had become. While your Recapper will miss the easy jokes, I don’t think any of us will miss antics of a guy that, at least, should have a restraining order to stay away from anyone under the age of, say, 30.

Pac 12 Power Rankings


1. Stanford - things get a bit tougher as they face Washington
2. Oregon - no James, now no Thomas...thank goodness for Colorado
3. Washington - looking more and more like they're back, dammit
4. USC - continues to win, continues to be ignored. Ex-golden child status sucks
5. ASU - no real shame in losing on the road to a top ten team, except they always do that
6. UCLA - second half is themed Save Nuhizzy
7. Utah - only because they won
8. WSU - no shame in getting beat by Stanford, but they need to win a game again, or ghost of crappiness past will rear its head
9. Cal - boy...sucking football team, a coach that is entering "embattled" and a bunch of money for a new stadium...that's a bad recipe
10. Colorado - thinking about a "tied for 12th" category for these three
11. OSU - things can't possibly get worse, right?
12. Arizona - still awful, just hopefully enjoying it more

Ass Hander


I'm pretty sure this has never happened, but for the second week in a row, STANFORD has caused a team to win the Ass Hander Award. Last week, it was Colorado. This week, WSU, who lost by 30. Seriously, Cougs, you need to win pretty soon or this hopeful season is going to collapse (on the upside, next week...OSU).