Happy birthday dads! No, wait, sorry. Just happy day, I guess. I'm hoping that all you dads got to sit on your fat asses and ignore the nippers...but I'm guessing, yeah, no. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day with a look back at week 7 of last year's Pac 12 season.
Week 7
The past week I was laid up with consumption or the croup (some Victorian Literary disease), so I was definitely not 100% when I hit Autzen Stadium for a 7:21 kickoff. Fortunately, the weather forecast called for mild temperatures and no rain. Unfortunately, the weather forecast was forecasted by weather forecasters, who, without a doubt, are collectively the most wrong people on the planet, ahead of the clinically insane, cult members (“everyone wearing white sneakers will be safe from the aliens!”) and toddlers (“then the ponies could live in my room and sometimes soap tastes like peanut butter”). Needless to say, it was very cold and rained for much of the game, forcing me to once again don a plastic bag to keep my light-weight jacket and jeans dry. And unless you’re homeless, you probably didn’t know that plastic bags do NOT keep one warm. So at this point, after sitting through the game, I’m pretty sure I have the plague. Which sucks, as Rite Aide is currently out of Tylenol Cold and Plague.
Onward
Gritty isn't a word often associated with the Ducks (I could go into all the words associated with the Ducks, but I'm guessing most of my readers have their own words, and not many of them are printable), but after Saturday's 41-27 home win against 18th ranked Arizona State, it was certainly the word that was in my head. Already going into the game without all-world running back LaMichael James, the Ducks lost their starting QB a few minutes into the second half, and the collective "ohhhh...nooooo" was almost louder than any cheering during the game. But the backup QB did what he had to do: make a few plays, run the offense and not screw up. The Ducks are a long way from the days of Brady Leaf trotting into the game and throwing the ball all over the field like he was allergic to leather, which is nice, because I've kind of grown fond of the Ducks winning football games (it'd be nice if they won games that were considered "big," but I'll complain about that after they get beat in a bowl game). Next week they go to Colorado, the closest thing the Pac 12 has to a bye, aside from a bye, so even without their starting QB and RB, I'm not buying any of the "trap game" talk (note, no one is calling this a trap game).
Speaking of injuries, OSU suffered a few of them, aside from the ultimate injury of losing at home to BYU, 38-28. Six defensive players (I know, I know, I'm contractually obligated to say "they have a defense?") went down during the game, including one guy with a busted leg. So needless to say, bad to worse comes in to play here. The Beavers, out of 120 division 1 teams, rank 107th in rushing, and 96th in turnover margin. I'm no football genius (I just write a weekly recap of football, which you would think would require football knowledge but in fact only requires the ability to type), but neither of those stats are very good ones, and basically explains their record, along with the fact that they kind of stink on offense and defense. The Beavers aren't officially out of the "bowl race" yet, but would need to win 5 of their next six, and they haven't played Washington, Stanford or Oregon yet. So...yeah, that's all I'll say about that.
Remember when Stanford wasn't a good football team? I sure do. Using the way back machine, I pulled up some old recaps. In 2007 (my god, I've been writing these things since 2007!), Stanford lost to OSU 23-6 and had negative 8 yards rushing FOR THE GAME. In 2008 they lost to the Sun Devils 41-17, TCU 31-14 and Cal 37-16. So it wasn't that long ago that they were pathetic. But they aren't pathetic anymore. (As a quick aside, their chances of going back to pathetic are pretty good...they lost their genius coach that turned the program around and their QB (who already is better than about half a dozen NFL quarterbacks) is in his last season. And let's not forget, it's Stanford, a school that is RIDICULOUSLY hard to get in to. All of those things, to me, spell a BIG drop off next year, so enjoy the ride, Cardinal fan...next stop, MediocreVille.) Anyway, the Card stomped WSU 44-10. Did you know that Stanford was only ahead 10-7 at half? Did you know that WSU tried to play dead at halftime so they'd call the game then?
USC cleaned Cal's clocks, cruising to a cushy conquest 30-9. Contrary to completed seasons, Cal continues to crash and combust and one can't counteract contemplating the coach's conclusive culmination (I think that's a bit cumbersome, actually). Anyway, could be consternating.
Utah just needs to stop playing in the Pac 12. Losers of three Pac 12 conference games, Utah went on the road to Pittsburgh and beat them soundly, 26-14.
Colorado, also wishing they were probably not in the Pac 12, lost, again, this time to Washington, 52-24.
UCLA and Arizona had byes. Thank goodness.
Other Stuff
Last week I mentioned that Arizona head coach Mike “Loopy” Stoops would almost certainly be fired by the end of the season. Well, I was wrong about that, as Loopy didn’t make it past last Monday. The Athletic Director for Arizona actually called the coach on a recruiting trip and made him come home, sending the school jet to pick him up, which I guess is the equivalent of a parent showing up at a party to drag an overly drunk kid home by their ear. It’s telling that the comments around why Loopy was fired mid-season were about how it’s time for the kids to “have fun again.” It’s easy to assume that the kids weren’t having fun, as their coach is, at best, a cranky half-blind cougar and at worst is a legitimate maniac, but for the administration at U of Arizona to say it speaks volumes about how thin the act had become. While your Recapper will miss the easy jokes, I don’t think any of us will miss antics of a guy that, at least, should have a restraining order to stay away from anyone under the age of, say, 30.
Pac 12 Power Rankings
1. Stanford - things get a bit tougher as they face Washington
2. Oregon - no James, now no Thomas...thank goodness for Colorado
3. Washington - looking more and more like they're back, dammit
4. USC - continues to win, continues to be ignored. Ex-golden child status sucks
5. ASU - no real shame in losing on the road to a top ten team, except they always do that
6. UCLA - second half is themed Save Nuhizzy
7. Utah - only because they won
8. WSU - no shame in getting beat by Stanford, but they need to win a game again, or ghost of crappiness past will rear its head
9. Cal - boy...sucking football team, a coach that is entering "embattled" and a bunch of money for a new stadium...that's a bad recipe
10. Colorado - thinking about a "tied for 12th" category for these three
11. OSU - things can't possibly get worse, right?
12. Arizona - still awful, just hopefully enjoying it more
Ass Hander
I'm pretty sure this has never happened, but for the second week in a row, STANFORD has caused a team to win the Ass Hander Award. Last week, it was Colorado. This week, WSU, who lost by 30. Seriously, Cougs, you need to win pretty soon or this hopeful season is going to collapse (on the upside, next week...OSU).
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