Week 5
I have a friend, who will remain nameless (hello, Nameless), who sent me a text message about the death of Mark Helfrich's dad (my kids showed me how to use text messaging on the phone...those seven year olds are smart). Mark Helfrich is a coach for the University of Oregon. My friend's text messages went on to say that the University chartered two buses and most of the team and coaching staff drove south to the Helfrich's hometown of Coos Bay, where they attended the funeral with much of the town (either a VERY small town, or maybe Mr. Helfrich was much beloved). But I thought it was a nice story, of a team virtually en masse going to pay respects to the passing of a coach's family member. And I bring you this story with some caveats, of course: 1. I'm a fan of the Ducks and always want to see them in a good light; 2. Most any team would probably do the same thing. But the most interesting thing about this, to me (probably not to you, but hey, it's my recap), is the very small amount of coverage something like this got. I went back online through Oregonlive.com and found no mention of not only the trip to the funeral, but nothing even on the death of the coach's dad. It's as if we've settled into this story line (and by we I mean the press and the people that read the press...so, we) that the Ducks are "thugs" (my friend's actual term) and law-breakers (and naturally the Beavers are a cute little family devoted to their grandmothers...and that USC are all big cheaters (okay, that one is true) and on and on). This idea of black and white, one side is right, the other is wrong press coverage is half the reason our world is so messed up right now (the other half is that our world IS actually messed up right now). How hard is it to write a quick piece about what happened? My friend took probably 45 seconds to write those text messages and it changed the way I look at the team. By presenting both sides of a story, it lets people make up their own minds and would go a long way to taking the toxicity out of sports, sports coverage, and frankly, world events. Of course, most people would argue I'm FAR from even-handed, but I'm just some schlub doing this for fun. It's the professionals we should hold to a higher standard.
Onward
Stanford is really good. They took care of UCLA 45-19 and made it look easy in the process. They mostly shut down the Bruins pistol attack (which sounds way scarier than it is...pistol attack!) and forced two turnovers. And then there's all-world Andrew Luck, everyone's favorite eschewer, who eschewed going to the NFL and making millions so he could stay in college and soak up all that joy of living and crap like that. He apparently caught a pass one-handed, which really is just rubbing everyone's face in it. When you're busting out trick plays so you can beat UCLA by 26, well, that's kind of mean. The whole team is already going to get jobs better than most of us; now they have to bust out trick plays and show how versatile they are? Note to Stanford...we don't like you. Quit it.
How excited do you think WSU was when the Pac 10 let Colorado join the conference? On a scale of 1-10, I'd go with very. Because while WSU football has lately been synonymous with the feeling you get when you step in dog excrement while wearing good shoes, Colorado football has been synonymous with the feeling you get while scrapping off said dog excrement off said shoes and getting said excrement on your hand. Anyway, in the Said Excrement Bowl, Colorado and WSU battled in Boulder and with two scores in the last 4 minutes, the Cougs proved they are most definitely NOT worse than poop on the hand. The Cougs stunned the Buffs 31-27 and at 3-1, are halfway to a real live bowl game. These are definitely not the Cougars we remember, and considering some of the lack of quality teams at the bottom of the conference, I think the Cougs have a legitimate shot at a bowl. In fact, I'm saying it right now: WSU will be bowl eligible this year (note to bettors...don't bet on that; I've been known to be wrong).
Speaking of bottom of the conference...hello OSU. Here's how you know that a season isn't going to go your way: on ASU's first three possessions, the Sun Devils' QB threw two interceptions and fumbled. OSU capitalized by scoring 13 points. Now, thirteen isn't bad, but when you're winless and struggling, you need to take advantage of all the gifts you get. OSU didn't do that, and got beat by Arizona State 35-20. As a guy that likes to look at the bright side of things (hahaha), freshman quarterback Handsome Steve Mannion set passing records for the school (attempts and completions), but had four interceptions (not a record for an OSU quarterback, unfortunately). OSU is now the only winless team in a BCS conference, and aside from programs like Miami (Ohio) and New Mexico, are only one of a handful of teams not to win yet. Next up for OSU is Arizona, a school with their own pack of issues, and since neither team can really run the ball, expect a lot of chucking around of the ol' pigskin.
Speaking of pigskin chucking and Arizona, they lost to USC 48-41 in one of those classic whoever has the ball last wins. And I guess USC had it last, because they won. I've talked a lot about Arizona and their grumpy coach, but how grumpy do you think Lane Kiffin is? We're talking USC, they're 4-1 overall, 2-1 in the conference, and they aren't getting ANY national attention. Granted, they lost to ASU, and beat a pretty lousy Arizona squad by 7, but still, it's weird to see USC underrated. Weird in a "what's this pot of gold doing under my bed?" way, and not in a "why is that guy in the ladies hat and way too small Smurfs t-shirt following me around the mall?" way.
And finally, Washington might be good. Or Utah is bad. Either way, Washington won big, 31-14, in Utah. Neither Utah or Colorado are doing so hot in their new conference, which proves the old adage that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. And even if it is, it's still grass, and grass is yucky.
Other Stuff
Boise State beat Nevada this weekend 30-10. I heard someone on the radio talking about how the Mountain West is improved this year, what with 3-1 Wyoming (haha) and 3-1 San Diego State (hahaha) and 3-1 Air Force (hahahahaha). But TCU got beat by SMU, Wyoming lost to Nebraska 38-14 and San Diego State got beat by Michigan 28-7. So Boise State beats one team in the SEC (a not that great Georgia team), then plays cupcakes like Nevada and Tulsa and Toledo, and right now, their toughest game remaining is, I guess, at San Diego State. So the Mountain West is improved (as in, not godawful, just awful), so now everyone can justify the high ranking for Boise, when in fact they have done NOTHING to prove they belong up there. Sure, their offense is good and their defense is good, but they've played no one. And they won't. Put them in a good conference, hell, put them in the Pac 12, and they lose 3 games a year, easy. You think they play Arizona's schedule and go undefeated? Hell no. Yes, I realize I'm tilting at windmills (literature alert!) and that I've said it before, but I'll say it again, aside from Notre Dame, there isn't a team more propped up and over-hyped than Boise State.
Cal and Oregon had byes
Pac 12 Power Rankings
1. Stanford - Rolling along
2. Oregon - bye week, play Thursday against Cal
3. ASU - able to overcome a bad game and still win
4. Washington - starting to look better and better
5. WSU - a hell of a road win
6. USC - winning the games they should
7 Cal - big test in Eugene on Thursday
8. Arizona - lost, by not that much, so moving up
9. Utah - got boatraced at home...welcome to the Pac 12
10. UCLA - may be the end of the New-Hi-Zell era...spell check is grateful
11. Colorado - thank goodness for OSU
12. OSU - "lovable losers" (according to the Oregonian) may become more of both
Ass Handers Award
UCLA, thankfully, lost by more than Utah did. It's always more fun to stick the AHA on someone's cube wall. And UCLA...boy oh boy...in the running for Ass Handers of the Year already, and we're only in week 5.
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